Being useless feels awful.
Being useful feels good, doesn’t it?
It is nice to feel valued and know we are valued. It helps us to feel secure.
It also means we are supported to others and that we are welcome in the world.
Is There A Stigma For Being Useless?
As a highly sensitive person, I suspect that the highly sensitive suffer more from being perceived as useless because:
- we need more rest and frequent breaks
- we are not handy for dramas and emergencies since we operate more slowly
- we question a lot of things including others view of what is useful – like I am doing now!
Busyness often seems like much ado about nothing.
The Problem With Being Useful
We live in a very strange time. People are expected to be highly productive. However, in spite of it we are often replaced by machines.
We are filling up the planet with huge amounts of garbage – the residue of our productivity. We are becoming sicker and sicker from our efforts to survive in a system that makes us obsolete.
Being productive does not mean taking good care of ourselves. It does not mean developing greater self reliance. It means participating in the consumption business: supporting it, making it work and reaping rewards from it.
In other words, being dependent on it.
This is one of the observations that highly sensitive people will make about our current system and the idea of being useful: we are really making ourselves dependent.
Busyness Is NOT A Sign Of Intelligence
Busyness has a fatal flaw. It keeps us engaged tactically and removes us from considering the big picture.
As a highly sensitive person, I notice when the big picture and present activities are at odds. In fact, I notice when anything is at odds. Busyness is what we expect from subordinates, the foot soldiers of modern life, the Hans Brinkers of our increasingly decaying commercial system. That means that busyness does not make us masters of our fate. Just the opposite.
Busyness does not seem like such a great deal. It is worth asking ourselves why we are doing all this.
Why are we?
Are You Engaged?
Many people think of being busy as the same thing as being engaged. Often we are made to think that slowing down is a kind of disengagement, even an abandonment of our responsibilities.
But engagement demands a lot of presence. Busyness does not. So when we are being very busy in many we ways we are increasing our disengagement with life. We stop asking important questions about what we are doing and why.
Why Being Useless Improves Engagement
When we are being useless we are open to whatever comes our way. Whatever information that needs to shape our perception comes when we are that moment of rest and open to it.
When we are useless, we are open to a different agenda. It could be the voice of our innermost self speaking to us. It could be an awareness of the big picture that shows itself to us.
Nothing can reach us if we are not receptive. So being useless is a way of being receptive to inputs from any and all sources. When we are receptive, then we engage in a different way, in a more informed way, in a more complete way. It shows up in our work. We do work that is more on point. we waste less time on that which is irrelevant or unimportant and we know the difference.
We rise to the level of creator and steward which gives us and others a greater experience of satisfaction.
Sensitivity And Being Useless
One of the challenges of being sensitive is that it is hard to fool ourselves. We know when busyness is hollow, counterproductive or destructive. We can feel it.
However, we need to work and want to work in a way that suits us. Adopting the openness of being useless lets us sidestep busyness for a form of engagement that is rewarding to us.
It is a good idea for each HSP to spend some time each day not just resting but being useless and open to the voice and wisdom of our true selves.
Our receptivity will reward us with greater enjoyment and fulfillment.