In Search Of A Real Conversation

I like a real conversation.

I do not like a faux conversation.

I do not like pretend conversations.

I do not like manipulative conversations.

It can be quiet around me.

What Is A Real Conversation, Anyway?

It probably sounds silly and perhaps a little whiney – but what is a real conversation?

It may be easier to talk about what it is not.

I have no trouble with people being pleasant with each other except when it becomes so rigid that real issues and problems cannot be discussed.

A real conversation talks about what is and needs to be.

When I see conversations that are stiffly pleasant, I often think people are talking to what they want life to be like rather than what is.

I don’t want conversations that feel like some sort of weird dream. I prefer a conversation that feels robust and timely. It should be present.

A real conversation is present.

A real conversation doesn’t nee to manipulate.

I have enough going on, I don’t really have the time.

A real conversation does not demand a big acting job on the part of others. There is nothing to gain or lose. There is just the getting on with it.

Real Conversation Is Slow

Real conversation is slow. It starts but does not necessarily end at the same time. I like the kind of conversations that feel like a kind of weaving of information, thoughts and feelings.

The results are not the primary concern, the exchange is.

It makes the conversation less about an agenda or result and more about groundedness.

Conversation can be a way to ground.

A real conversation does not have winners or losers.

A real conversation doesn’t have rules or authority. What is is the authority.

A Real Conversation Is Lighter

A real conversation is lighter because it doesn’t need rules, roles, poses, and agendas.

It is grounded in the present and stays there. There is no place to go. Just a place to be.

It’s also a place here anyone can be. There is no exclusion because we are all here in this present.

So a real conversation can make life easier and more enjoyable.

I also think it makes life more companionable, since there is no competition.

A real conversation is a place for friends.

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Comments

  1. says

    Thanks for providing your perspective on this interesting topic. I often carry so many expectations when I enter a conversation. It’s best to just accept the limitations of other people, as I’ve learnt the heard way. So many times I’ve entered a conversation bored out of my brain, frustrated and impatient, but once you accept that not everyone is the same as you, or likes talking about the same things as you, it’s easy just to flow.

    • Maria says

      As an HSP, I think you do have to accept how different our interests are compared to non-HSPs. It sounds like you have done a great job of makig your peace with differences.

      Good for you!

      Maria

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