A Healthier 2013 For Highly Sensitive People
Sometimes simple changes can make all the difference. These simple changes can help you feel healthier and more grounded in 2013:
- Begin each day with some gentle stretching or yoga: it helps activate and move your energy and helps with stagnanct energy in the body.
- Spend at least 15-20 minutes doing meditation, deep breathing exercises or progressive relaxation. It can be done with some “new age” music, but definitely music without any words.
- Listen to classical music, or meditation tapes or CDs; they reduce stress and help you access the positive attributes of your higher self.
- Eat a nutritious breakfast slowly and leave plenty of time to drive to work. Maintain a schedule that keeps you frm feeling rushed because then you are more liely to be at your best.
- Get a good night’s sleep. Sleep is restorative and helps your recover from stress during the day.
Better Relationships For HSP’s in 2013
Relationships are inevitably a challenge for highly sensitive people. Our intensity can drive others away and prevent us from getting our needs met.
Here are some ways to improve our relationships:
- Give the non-HSPs in your life the benefit of the doubt. As I discuss frequently in my group meetings and presentations that if something can be taken as negative, or as an insult, an HSP will often go here. But honestly, most people’s intent isn’t to make you feel bad, even though that’s how it “feels” to you. In my experience HSPs seem to worry a lot although as young woman in one of my audiences said “I don’t worry a lot I just think about things very, very deeply.” But as you may have already discovered “deep can go to dark” and when you think about things deeply, that can lead to worry and worry can lead to the production of cortisol. Cortisol is scientifically linked to depression and anxiety and once cortisol starts pumping even things that you weren’t worrying about become worrisome.
- Having a positive attitude can do wonders for making your life more enjoyable and improving your relationships. Happiness can be elusive for HSPs wh often feel that there is something wrong with them for not wanting or having what others have. So it is important to learn from the expression: “Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you get.” Often what we get is what we need and what we want is not what we need. earning the difference makes life better for us and for the people in our lives.
- Make sure that you are not dwelling on the negative because that can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even if life is challenging or difficult, looking for the positive or the silver lining can improve outcomes by keeping you moving in the direction of solutions and positive results.
- Pre-qualify your relationship partners. Make sure that you are getting involved romantically with healthy available people. If you tend to seek out unavailable people, then you need to consider why that is happening and perhaps seek counseling if this is a repeating pattern that you would like to change. The same is true if you have a repetitive history of unhappy or painful relationships.
- Learn from those who have travelled the path before you. A list of readings below can help you with insights so that you can have the relationships you deserve.
How To Have An Empowered 2013
Highly sensitive people often have trouble taking care of themselves and seeing themselves as valuable. Usually it is because they have been taught that being sensitive makes them defective. It is important to realize that being sensitive is not a defect but a gift. When you do you can see yourself and your life in a more positive light. Then you can mve on to taking care of yourself and your relationships in a more empowered way.
May you find your way to an enjoyable and fulfilling 2013.
Important Reading For HSPs
The following are some books and music choices that help you sort out personal and relationship challenges:
- The Wounded Woman: Healing the Father-Daughter Relationship, by Linda Leonard. A father wounded in his psychological development, Linda Leonard believes, cannot often give his daughter the care and guidance she needs. Using examples from her own life and her work with clients, as well as dreams, fairy tales, myths, films, and literature, Leonard charts paths toward psychological transformation and a fruitful, caring relationship between men and women, fathers and daughters—one that honors both the mutuality and the uniqueness of the sexes.
- Living With the Passive Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression From the Bedroom to the Boardroom by Scott Wetzler. This book introduces the reader to a vaiety of passive-aggressive characters: the catch-me-if-you-can lover, the deviously manipulative coworker or boss, the obstructionist, procrastinating husband.This personality syndrome — in which hostility wears a mask of passivity — is currently the number one source of men’s problems in relationships and on the job. In Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man, Scott Wetzler draws upon numerous case histories from his own practice to explain how and why the passive-aggressive man thinks, feels, and acts the way he does.
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie. A great book for HSPs who take on the problems of others. Is someone else’s problem your problem? If, like so many others, you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else’s, you may be codependent–and you may find yourself in this book. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America’s best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.
- Addiction to Perfection: The Still Unravished Bride: A Psychological Study (Studies in Jungian Psychology) by Marion Woodman Description: Through case studies, dreams, and myths, a Jungian analyst explores the hidden causes of compulsion in the lives of men and women. At the root of eating disorders, substance abuse, and other addictive and compulsive behaviors, Woodman sees a hunger for spiritual fulfillment. The need to experience a sacred connection to an energy greater than their own drives people to search for an illusory ideal of perfection.
- Music by Alanis Morisette. Alanis is an HSP whose songs are often a reflection of the HSP relationship experience.